They Said It Would Not Work!

August 26, 2007

The Bumblebee and the E-Meter

by Joel Phillips
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Well what they have in common is that they said neither one would work. And by they I mean engineers.

Engineers said the bumblebee would never fly. Engineers also laughed at the E-Meter as an aid to spiritual advancement and said you could buy the same thng at Radio Shack.

Then the bigots and zelots got involved and used it as part of their assault on religious freedom.

Well history has shown that they’re all wrong. Look for yourself. Bumblebees fly and Scientologists are using the E-Meter to solve the world’s problems on a daily basis.

Just look at the track record of engineers:

Electrical engineers still can’t make a cell phone that doesn’t drop signals.

Aviation engineers still can’t make a plane that won’t crash.

Chemical engineers still can’t make gasoline out of water.

Computer engineers still can’t make a computer that cannot detect hate mail from pederasts.

Mechanical engineers still can’t make a car that won’t pollute.

But the E-Meter is an achievement. It does exactly what it is supposed to do and it does it all the time. That is because it was well researched by L. Ron Hubbard who did not work for some greedy engineering company out to make poor quality products.

Also, the E-Meter is part of your spiritual makeup. For instance I have no musical ability and the best piano teacher could not help me. But, anyone and I do mean anyone can learn to use an E-Meter. The device is flawless and so too is the training designed with it.

So keep the bumblebee in mind the next time one of these apostates goes on about Scientology. Ask them about the bumblebee. Ask them why it is engineers say it cannot fly. Then ask them what crime they are hiding that is forcing them to attack religious freedom and everday parishioners.

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11 Responses to “They Said It Would Not Work!”


  1. Scientology invented Bumblebee? I think not.

    Optimus Prime

  2. Ingo Swann Says:

    Just so as they said my work at Stanford did not work either. The technology of Scientology has the potential of being the next stepping stone for humanity.

    I. Swann

  3. xenu Says:

    i think the crude emeter was regarded as an open source lie detector, then hubbard pulled a bill gates and stole someone elses invention (popular mechanics) and patented it, in the 50’s, and you fools think it’s high tech.

    Do this, go to college, get a degree in Electrical Engineering, then tell me if you still think the emeter does anything. Or, get a degree in psychology, then you’ll see that you’re being brainwashed at every audit.

    Or dont listen to me. talk to a freezoner.

  4. AnonXenu Says:

    Is that serious? This is all satire, right?

    “Electrical engineers still can’t make a cell phone that doesn’t drop signals.”
    Outside cause, not the cellphone’s fault.

    “Aviation engineers still can’t make a plane that won’t crash.”
    And I’m sure if I take a sledge hammer to your E-Meter, it’ll be a-okay.

    “Chemical engineers still can’t make gasoline out of water.”
    …Alchemy? Never tried it.

    “Computer engineers still can’t make a computer that cannot detect hate mail from pederasts.”
    …I’m sure you’ve made a few programmers cringe.

    “Mechanical engineers still can’t make a car that won’t pollute.”
    Already done…just not all that efficient.

    And as a response to all you’ve said:
    Neither can a Scientologist

    Ignorant SciFag is Ignorant.

  5. djbjbfbwf Says:

    Ok, so engineers cannot understand why the bumblebee works, therefore the e-meter must be correct. That argument is so weak I am actually wondering if this is a wind-up. Attacking the validity of the e-meter is not a violation of religious freedom, it is a very valid response to a piece of technology which has had no independent peer review, no double-blind tests, no proper research at all.

    I wonder at how ridiculous this all seems and how anyone can take it seriously, then I realise that it is the way of all religions. Feel free to practice whatever belief you like, but one: do not stifle criticism, if you do it will be your downfall, two: be honest about the reality of Scientology, don’t wait till people are fully indoctrinated to tell them all the stuff about nuking volcanoes and Xenu etc. and 3: do not use suppressive tactics or litigious methods, you will only win enemies.

    Oh yes, and explain Lisa McPhearson…

    Knowledge is free.

    Salvation has no price.

  6. asif Says:

    Actually.. You are wrong.

    Educate yourself (those who are permitted. To those who aren’t.. I’m so sorry.)

    http://www.sciencenews.org/articles/20040911/mathtrek.asp

    http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a5_045.html

  7. Citizen Says:

    Seriously, if someone wanted to make a great parody article about how Scientologists are stereotyped by internet denizens, all they would need to do is copy and paste this exact article – word for word.

    “Bumblebees fly and Scientologists are using the E-Meter to solve the world’s problems on a daily basis.” Hah!

    “But, anyone and I do mean anyone can learn to use an E-Meter.” Case in point.

  8. ebaum Says:

    We can make planes that don’t crash. We DO make them. Can they be used correctly, is the question.

    And although we can’t make gasoline out of water, we can make HYDROGEN, which (gasp) can be used to powered cars that don’t pollute. We’re just perfecting it.

    I’m glad you’re not a scientist or anything. Good lord.

  9. confused? Says:

    “Computer engineers still can’t make a computer that cannot detect hate mail from pederasts.”
    Double negative there, so all computers detect hate mail from pederasts? Isn’t that what you want? or would you like a special computer that allows all hate mail?

    Also physics says that bumblebees can fly, the following is pulled from wikipedia: It is believed that the calculations which purported to show that bumblebees cannot fly are based upon a simplified linear treatment of oscillating aerofoils. The method assumes small amplitude oscillations without flow separation. This ignores the effect of dynamic stall, an airflow separation inducing a large vortex above the wing, which briefly produces several times the lift of the aerofoil in regular flight. More sophisticated aerodynamic analysis shows that the bumblebee can fly because its wings encounter dynamic stall in every oscillation cycle.

  10. Vlad Tepes Says:

    I use the E-meter every day to audit my body thetans and BT clusters. It has really helped me become more sane. I’m sorry that some people do not understand this wonderful machine. I have even used it to audit my dog. OK, you must be wondering, how can a dog hold the cans? Well, I have to admit that one was challenging and took some doing. I ended up putting one can in the dog’s mouth, and the other one up his ass. But it was too distracting and we couldn’t really get any real auditing done. So, I made some custom electrodes using cloths in salt water, and used those on the paws.

  11. Joel Jones Says:

    Perhaps you should read something newer than a 1960’s Popular Mechanics magazine before you go around quoting the long discredited trope that science/engineering can’t explain a bumblebees ability to fly. Because when you make statements like this in 2014 everyone automatically knows you’re trying to start a con, or you’re an idiot.


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